


Tie Me Down and Make Me Cry

by pathologxst



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pathologxst/pseuds/pathologxst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is tied to a chair. A psychiatrist attempts to discover why he has stopped wearing his Belstaff coat. A revelation of heartbreaking secrets ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phase 1

A woman with short, black hair and glasses sat opposite Sherlock, who was tied to a chair. She stared at him with a clipboard in her hand, studying him like a hawk.

“How are you feeling, Mr Holmes?”

Sherlock didn’t reply her. The mere presence of her sent a wave of nausea through his body and he wished that there was a bin nearby for him to retch into.

“Still not talking? Don’t worry, the sodium penthanol will loosen your tongue soon enough.”

Truth serum. Of course. Typical.

Sherlock wanted to snap at her, to make a witty reply like how people would expect him to, but his head felt oddly light and blank.

They sat staring at each other for another few minutes, and Sherlock felt the substance doing its job in his body, gradually making him more relaxed and comfortable.

“Now, let’s try again, shall we? How are you feeling?”

He didn’t want to reply. Honestly, he didn’t. Who was she to ask nosy questions? But he felt so free and peaceful now, so why not?

“I’m alright.”

“Really? Because from what I’ve read about you, you don’t seem to be alright.”

“What have you read about me?”

“That you refuse to eat until you’re on the verge of collapsing. You spend your days locked in your room. That you reject cases. And if you do accept them, you take an oddly long time to solve them.”

“Maybe it’s because they are difficult to solve.”

The woman smiled at him. “Oh I doubt that, Mr Holmes.”

She arranged her clipboard more comfortably on her lap before looking at him again. “What changed?”

“You’re the psychiatrist. You tell me.”

“Ok, I will tell you,” she said, gazing at him intently. “Molly Hooper.”

Sherlock’s body froze and he felt a lump forming in his throat. He swallowed hard.

“What about her?”

“Don’t play games, Mr Holmes. You know what.”

“I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Come on, Mr Holmes. You’re worrying your brother like that. That’s why he sent me, see?”

“Mycroft can go fuck himself,” Sherlock scowled.

“Ah…use of vulgarities. Another thing to add to the growing list of un-Sherlock things that you’ve been doing recently.”

Sherlock glared at her, angry at himself for letting that slip. Fucking sodium penthanol.

“Molly Hooper,” the woman repeated.

“What about her?”

The woman sighed. “Still uncooperative are we? Tell me what she is to you, Mr Holmes.”

“She’s nothing to me.”

The woman quirked an eyebrow. “Really? That’s not what I think.”

“What do you think then? You’re being extremely tiresome. Get to the point and stop wasting my time,” he snapped.

The woman ignored his rudeness. “You’ve spent an awful lot of time with her the last few months.”

“So? She is a pathologist at Bart’s. I see her regularly since I use the labs there.”

“She comes over to your flat at night.”

“Yes, she personally sends the body parts that I request for my experiments. She sneaks them out for me.”

The woman gave him a smile full of pity, making him feel sick to his stomach. He was tempted to reach out and wipe that annoying smile off her pale face, but his fucking bonds were holding him to the chair.

“You were photographed getting coffee with her many times.”

“She gets coffee for me all the time. I thought that it would be civil to repay her. I’m under the impression that that’s what normal people do.”

“Oh yes, of course. But you were also seen holding her hand on the streets after getting coffee. Most people don’t do that if they’re not close.”

“She walks very slowly compared to me so I usually hold her hand to make her match my stride. I must have wanted to get back to Bart’s quickly to continue my experiments.”

“You were holding her hand _every time_ you two were pictured together, Mr Holmes.”

“I have many experiments.”

The woman frowned at him, deciding that he was going to be difficult nut to crack. “Ok, let’s not talk about Molly Hooper anymore. Let’s talk about your choice of clothing. Why don’t you wear your Belstaff coat anymore? You used to wear it all the time.”

“I’ve been feeling very warm recently.”

“It’s winter now, Mr Holmes.”

“The presence of snow does not mean that I can’t feel warm.”

“No,” she agreed. “But it’s come to my attention that Miss Hooper was the last one to wear your coat before you stopped wearing it three months ago.”

“I thought we weren’t talking about her anymore.”

“I’ve changed my mind. I’m the doctor and I’m in charge.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes and the woman just smiled. He fucking hated that smile.

“You don’t have any evidence that she was the last one to wear my coat.”

“Oh, but I do.”

Sherlock stared at her.

“John Watson told me.”

Sherlock had an overwhelming urge to strangle his friend. But something told him that it wasn’t his fault. He was probably subjected to a dose of sodium penthanol as well.

“John can be unreliable at times.”

“Your landlady corroborated that fact too.”

“That John can be unreliable?”

“Mr Holmes,” the woman said warningly. “You know I’m talking about Miss Hooper wearing your coat. Both of them saw her wearing it. More than once too.”

Sherlock looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling very tired. The truth serum was making him slightly giddy. He just wanted to get back to Baker Street and lock himself in his room. Maybe he would compose a concerto.

“Mr Holmes, concentrate please.”

“Oh do shut up.”

“You know I can’t. The faster we finish this, the faster you can go home.”

He sighed, knowing that she was right. Maybe he should get this bloody thing over so he could get back. Maybe he would pay Mycroft a visit and give him a punch too. The thought of that was oddly satisfying.

“Let’s start again, shall we?” she said, more gentle this time. Sherlock just nodded, too tired to argue anymore.

“Tell me about the coat.”

Sherlock closed his eyes, picking the correct file from his mind palace. “Three months ago, she came over to spend the night. We had just done… it and she –“

“You mean sex?” she interrupted.

“Yes,” he snapped. “I thought you wanted _me_ to talk.”

“I do. Please continue.”

“She was feeling cold, so I gave her my coat to wear. She gets cold easily. We fell asleep with her wearing my coat. Not the first time it happened.”

There was a long pause.

“And then?” the woman prompted.

Sherlock swallowed again to force the lump in his throat to dissolve. “I woke up the next day to find that she had already left for work. My coat was on the sofa. I was about to go over to Bart’s for a new experiment when…”

“When the call came,” the woman finished quietly.

“Yes.”

“What did the caller say?”

Sherlock remained silent for a long time. He was surprised that the woman didn’t urge him to talk. After what seemed like eons, he finally opened his mouth.

“That there had been an explosion at Bart’s. Accidental leakage,” he said, his voice barely audible.

“Was it?”

“Was it what?”

“An accidental leakage.”

“No.”

“What was it then?”

“A planned explosion.”

“Who planned it?”

“A fan of mine.”

“Do you know who he is?”

“Yes.”

“Who?”

“Moran.”

“Moran?”

“Moriarty’s right hand man. He sent a note after the explosion, saying he’ll destroy my heart. Typical drama.”

“Did you manage to find him?”

“Not yet. Didn’t Mycroft tell you all this?”

The woman ignored him. “What else happened?”

“You know the rest!” he snapped.

“I need to hear it from you.”

“She’s gone. Died in the explosion.”

“And yet you still speak about her in the present tense, Mr Holmes. You told me just now that _she is a pathologist at Bart’s_ ,” she quoted.

Of course he did. She was still alive. She was still alive in his mind palace. She was still sitting in her room, her light brown hair in a tight ponytail as she looked over some autopsy files. Her warm eyes shining with happiness when she saw him enter her room. Her slim fingers tangled among his curls when she kissed him. Her laughter soft and sweet when he made a funny deduction about someone. Her small hands on his chest when they lay on his bed, absolutely spent after sex.

He suddenly realised that his cheeks were wet.

Oh.

When did he start crying?

Fuck.

“Did you love her?”

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“No.”

The woman sighed. “Why won’t you wear your coat anymore, Mr Holmes?”

He drew in a breath to steady his voice. “She was the last one to wear it so it smells of her. I intend to keep it that way.”

The woman looked at him pitifully again.

“Stop staring at me like that!” he shouted. The woman looked away, but was unperturbed by his sudden outburst. She merely picked up the syringe beside her and advanced towards him. With an apologetic look, she injected him with another dose of sodium penthanol. Within a few minutes, he felt himself relaxing again.

He never hated Mycroft more than in this moment.

“Did you love her?”

Silence.

“The faster you admit it, the faster you heal, Mr Holmes. That’s the whole point of us doing this.”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“You loved her?”

“That’s what I just said. Do try to keep up,” he glared at her.

The woman started to scribble some things down on her clipboard. Probably something about him being unable to function like he used to. He didn’t give a damn. He just wanted to go back home so that he could retreat back to his mind palace and visit Molly again.

The woman finished scribbling and looked at him. “Did she know?”

“Know what?”

“That you loved her.”

“No. I never told her.”

“Do you regret it?”

Did he? Yes, he supposed he did. He spent many nights wondering why he was stupid enough to have never told her that. She had told him that she loved him thirty-two times. And he? The great Sherlock bloody Holmes? Not one fucking time.

And now she would never know.

A strangled cry suddenly rose from his throat and he was startled by the sheer ugliness of the sound. He attempted to stop the cry but failed miserably.

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” the woman said.

Sherlock just continued sobbing, not caring about how he must have looked. He wondered how Moran would feel if he saw him right now, unshaven and dressed in his shabby pyjamas, sounding like a wounded animal.

“Don’t worry. It’s the sodium penthanol. It makes you more emotional.”

“Shut up.”

The woman finished writing something else before walking out of the room, leaving Sherlock alone with his cries.


	2. Phase II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of Phase I

Sherlock took a deep breath to compose himself once the woman left the room. The effects of the sodium penthanol were gradually starting to subside and his emotions were settling down again.

He breathed a sigh of relieve – the sobbing had been exhausting. He had never let himself cry like that before and he felt oddly empty and hollow. But even he had to admit that the crying had helped him feel slightly better.  

After a few minutes of staring blankly at the wall, the door opened and Sherlock looked up curiously. His blue eyes narrowed and darkened dangerously.

“Fuck off, Mycroft.”

“Manners, Sherlock. Let’s not get too emotional now, shall we?” he said, sitting down on the vacated chair calmly, apparently unperturbed by Sherlock’s current state.

Sherlock glared at his brother, furious that he had him tied to a chair in a dreary room. It certainly did not help that his cheeks were still stained with his tears and he knew that Mycroft would be able to notice them. He despised himself for looking so vulnerable and weak in front of his brother.

“What do you want?”

“I have news about Moran.”

“What about?”

“We found him. He’s dead. My man shot him .”

Sherlock sat up straighter. He had been dreaming about this day for three months. Ever since that bastard set off the explosion that killed Molly. The only thing that bothered Sherlock about his death was that he wasn’t the one to kill him. He had fantasised too many times about breaking Moran’s neck and watching his body go limp in his hands.

“John and Mrs Hudson can come out of hiding now. They’re safe,” Mycroft added.

“Good.”

“I have something important to tell you. Try not to break your bonds while I’m at it.”

Sherlock narrowed his eyes at his brother but remained silent. He was getting tired of Mycroft’s games. His giddiness was returning and he desperately wanted to lie down.

“We received a tip that Moran was planning an explosion the day Miss Hooper died. We only knew of it a few minutes before it was set to go off, so there was nothing much that we could do. I immediately knew that he wanted her dead. Everybody who saw you during the last nine months knew that there was something going on between the both of you. You must try to be less… _obvious_ , Sherlock.”

Sherlock gripped his bonds tighter, wishing that he could free himself and lunge at his brother’s condescending face.

“Killing her will destroy you. Not physically of course, although you seem to be doing a rather fine job of that yourself. When was the last time you ate something?”

“Get on with it!” Sherlock spat.

“Patience, Sherlock. As I was saying, he wanted to destroy you – mentally destroy you. He knew that you wanted him dead since he was the last piece in Moriarty’s criminal network. With you completely useless…” Sherlock glowered at his brother, who just smiled calmly back. “…he would be able to start rebuilding it without you breathing down his neck.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier if he just killed me?”

“He was a sick man, Sherlock. Your death didn’t satisfy him. He preferred to see you suffer and disintegrate. Unfortunately for him, he was just as arrogant as Moriarty was. It did not occur to him that other people knew about him as well. He thought you worked alone, see?”

“What are you getting at?”

“My god, you’ve really lost your reasoning skills, haven’t you? Think Sherlock! I said that I already knew about Moran’s bomb plot.”

“But you only knew about it a few minutes before it went off.”

“You can get some things done in a few minutes if you’re efficient. And I am efficient.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “So you did something then?”

“Of course,” Mycroft smirked. “I engineered a plan to _make_ Moran think that he had really destroyed you mentally. That way, he would be even more arrogant and make mistakes. I’m sure you remember James Moriarty shooting himself before actually seeing you die. Moran’s exactly the same as his mentor. They are both prone to being overconfident.”

Sherlock stared at his brother in disbelief. An idea was forming rapidly in his head. “You mean to say…you mean to say that my current state for the past three months was _engineered_?”

“Good, you’re getting there. Go on.”

“If you engineered it, it means that it was fake.”

“Yes.”

“That means that Molly’s not dead.”

“No, she’s not.”

Sherlock thought that his heart might stop. He couldn’t do much except stare at his brother.

Mycroft sighed. “I just needed you to think that she was dead. That way, Moran would think that he had won and become less scrupulous, which was what happened. That was how my people were able to track him down. The entire network is now finally dissolved, all due the negligence of an arrogant man.”

“What?“ Sherlock whispered.

“Miss Hooper is not dead. I managed to get her out of Bart’s before it happened. But she had to be sent away to make it seem more _realistic_.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” Sherlock choked.

“As I said, you are too obvious. You always give things away, so I couldn’t tell you. She’s been in hiding for the past three months. She wanted to contact you but naturally, she was forbidden to.”

“If she’s alive, why all this?” Sherlock asked, gesturing to his bonds with his head.

“The bonds weren’t exactly necessary, but knowing your temper, it was a precaution. I couldn’t have you harming the psychiatrist while she attempted to find out the truth.”

“The truth about what?” he snarled, his anger rising dangerously again.

“Whether you loved Miss Hooper. I can’t have you in a relationship with her and turning her into a target for your enemies if you didn’t really love her. I had to be sure – too much work taking care of the both of you. And I think _you_ needed to be sure too. Am I wrong?”

Sherlock was finding it a bit difficult to breathe. “Where is she?” he demanded.

“In a room beside yours. I’m going to untie your bonds. Don’t hit me,” Mycroft warned.

Sherlock glared at his brother as he released his bonds. The minute his hands were free, he sprinted out of the ugly room and burst open the door of the other room.

* * *

 

“Sherlock!”

Her voice was like music to his ears. He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t bring himself to. Otherwise, the tears burning at the back of his eyes would spill out. He went over to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, burying his face in her hair, revelling in the familiarity of her heady scent, of her hands around his neck, of her body pressed close to his.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t say anything. Mycroft didn’t allow it.” She pressed light kisses all along his neck and jawline, igniting a fire within him. He had never felt more alive than in that moment.

He pressed his lips to hers, giving in to his instincts. He ran his tongue along her lower lip, teasing her lips open. When they parted, he pushed his tongue in, exploring every part of her mouth as if it was the first time he was kissing her. She sighed contentedly, her fingers finding their way to his curls. He smiled against her lips when he felt her tugging gently at his hair. He thought that he was never going to be able to feel it again. She nibbled lightly on his lips and he moaned softly, which only motivated her to pull him closer, her hands clutching the front of his shirt tightly.

They finally broke apart when they couldn’t breathe. He laid his head on her forehead, enjoying the feel of her skin on his. He remembered that he had to do something. He’d be (as John would say) an idiotic arse if he didn’t do this.

“Molly?”

“Yes?” She was leaning against his chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

He bent his head so that it was close to her ear. “I love you.”

Molly looked up at him in surprise, her warm brown eyes bright with happiness.

“I know,” she smiled.

“You...you knew?”

“Of course, silly. You didn't say it but you showed me that you loved me.”

Sherlock was so relieved that he pressed his lips to hers again, seeking the addictive feeling that only her mouth could provide.

“Sherlock?” she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“Love you too.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a review if you've enjoyed reading my story. :)


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